


I'm just a little R.R.

by ALiteraryLady



Category: Law and Order SVU - Fandom
Genre: Aromantic Fin, Aromantic centric story, Aromantic positive, Just two older guys being together and happy and shit, M/M, Other, Possible Pansexual Munch, identity discovery, love and acceptance, queer platonic relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-15 03:30:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10549330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALiteraryLady/pseuds/ALiteraryLady
Summary: Detectives Munch and Fin enjoy an evening together which prompts Munch to show his romantic side to his partner. Naturally this causes Fin to recall his various issues with romantic elements in the 21st century. We see Fin's journey from not knowing what he feels to finding out who he is.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sidewinder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidewinder/gifts).



> I had to finally get a chance and write an aromantic Fic of Fin and Munch together. Thanks to sidewinder who discussed this idea with me, since we both see elements of Fin being aromantic on the show. I hope everyone enjoys it and I'd also like to thank the aromantic tumblrs who answered my call for assistance to make sure I was giving aromantics a story they could enjoy as well.

 

I’m just a little RR

 

This was not the gesture Detective Fin Tutuola had been expecting from the older gentleman, yet instead of enjoying it his heart filled with an all to familiar dread. The single red road on his desk was a precursor to a series of events he was disinterested in, even though he was interested in Detective John Munch.

As he pulled his sight from his desk and poured another cup of coffee, he heard Detective Olivia Benson and Detective Elliot Stabler whisper then snicker back and forth between themselves like a pair of high school gossips.

_Oh sure, now I get your damn attention. Last week on that sex ring with three black girls missin’ from Jersey nothing…_ Fin mused as he mustered up the courage and walked back over to his desk. He sat down and Olivia and Elliot became as inquisitive as all hell about him.

“Mornin’ Fin, who sent the rose? Secret admirer?” Olivia piped up as Elliot covered a smirk with his hand.

Fin rolled his eyes and snatched at the rose, but Elliot’s reflexes proved to be quicker and the Irish cop was twirling it in his fingers.

“C’mon El, let me get rid of it—please-” Fin pleaded as Elliot’s blue eyes lit up.

“Oh no way Fin, this is a single red rose, you’re just gonna go and toss it? Where’s the romance in that?”

As Elliot pointed the rose back at him, Fin saw the change to snatch it from him and he did, bending it in half as Munch walked into the room.

“I see roses are in bloom...” Munch’s eyes locked with Fin’s then went to the bent rose, “...were in bloom.”

_Great now I’m an asshole, but what fifty year old man gives another grown man flowers?! And he had to walk in right as I bend it?!_

“Uh oh.” Olivia said as she and Elliot cleared Fin’s desk, letting the tall lean Munch step and then lean forward over Fin’s desk. Fin swallowed the lump in his throat as Munch’s thin lips parted.

“If you weren’t into last night, why not just be straight forward with me, Fin?” Munch whispered.

“John it ain’t like that—but flowers?!” Fin’s annoyance saturated his reply as he saw the hurt in Munch’s eyes.

“Forgive my inner romantic for expressing an appreciation of events which occurred between us last night.” Munch clipped back at him as he leaned back and went to his desk without saying another word. Fin scanned the bullpen and saw Olivia peeking over a case file. One scowl put her focus back on work as Fin felt the fluster of his own needs and the expectations of a society which did not understand him wash over him.

 

 

Odafin loathed Valentine’s day, but being married and having a romantically inclined wife made it twenty four hours of hell. Ken had been sent off to play with his cousin Darius and Odafin felt his wife lean even closer to him, her chest flush against his.

“What now?” she purred as Fin felt his heart skip a beat. Being physical with her was never an issue, but the series of romantic steps leading to the reverie of sex felt like a field of landmines and the undue pressure of the holiday intensified his anxiety even more.

“How about a romp in bed?”

Hearing the reply to her inquiry made him cringe as the elation of the moment dropped off her face.

“That’s it?! Just...sex?!” she threw her hands up and took several steps away from him.

“Hey, no….it’s not just-” he tried to explain but even he felt no life in the words as they fled his lips.

“UGH! This is how it is every single Valentine’s day is with you! Hell I get more love and affection from Ken then I do you Fin! I get all dolled up and ready for a romantic evening and-”

His frustration boiled over.

“You know what?! I don’t care about this stupid ass holiday that was cooked up by Hallmark anyways! All it does is make a brother feel like an ass when he doesn’t go out and spend his hard earned money on a bunch of bullshit that no one even needs!”

Her eyes wore the pungent hurt of his words for a single clear moment then the rage within her took over.

“Oh go to hell Fin! When’s the last time I even asked for a little romance?-”

“--oh, good one, a little romance?! Woman you want to bath in it, live in it, and let it sleep in you--”

Her hand smacked his face as tears flowed from her eyes.

“Why can’t you want it?! Why can’t you show it?! How do you get married, have a baby and grow old together without it?! Why can’t you feel it?!” she paused as she wiped her face, “I’m going to my sister’s, I’ll pick up Ken from Darius’s place. See you.” She turned past him as Fin felt his shoulders droop but his pride stubbornly shot out a comment.

“You know what? I’ll go. I’m gonna take that undercover gig that narcotics offered, get out of this mess!”

He went to their bedroom and packed a bag, mentally fuming about their exchange, but deep down, the shame of his ‘otherness’ mocked him.

 

 

The third time he heard his name it pierced through his mental fog.

“Fin?!” Cragen snapped as Fin shook his head and saw Munch and Cragen outside of Cragen’s office.

“Uh, yeah captain, what’s up?” he answered as he walked over to them. Fin tried not to make any eye contact with Munch, but saw a quick kind glance from him before he caught himself and let a sour, displeased look replace it.

“Possible attempt by the Push in rapist in the lower west side, they want us to look in on the investigation-”

“-what about Elliot and Olivia?” Munch piped up. Fin saw the look on Cragen’s face and countered.

“-it’s alright cap, Munch and I can go, just got done going over some cases with Novak, so I’m good,” he looked at Munch, “You?”

Munch’s face wore his uncertainty of what expression to don, but Cragen saved him from having to choose.

“Good, It’ll need a good chunk of your shift, get on it, please.” Cragen tapped a file against his palm as Munch and Fin headed to their car.

 

 

His newest undercover gig was proving to be the best one yet; his apartment was spacious and the dealer he was protecting respected his gamer mentality so much that he’d given Fin a new Playstation two.

 

_That’s for keeping me covered, Darius_

_Anytime_

 

 

But the major benefit to undercover work as the total lack of romantic entanglements and the access to all the sex he could, if he wanted, have. Fin’s hands traced over her hips as he enjoyed, or at least entertained enjoying the lap dance he was getting, mostly in part to it being a Thursday night and his dealer had no one else to hang out with, but also due to Fin taking out a rival gang member.

“How’s that baby?” the dancer cooed as Fin found himself no longer able to conceal his desire for a bit of physical activity.

“Nice.” Fin replied with a grin on his face as his boss cackled.

“Darius, sweet young thang, here’s a little bit on me, go take this man into one of those booths and really show him a good time.” his boss slapped $200 into her hand and she pulled Fin up out of his seat.

“Sure thing, boss man.” she playfully giggled as Fin and his growing erection followed her to the seedy, dimly lit booth. The door closed behind him and her legs wrapped around his waist.

_Okay, ain’t just me who’s into this-damn!_

Her red lips bit and nibbled along his neck as her silver glitter nails looked like lights on his chest, her fingertips playing with his chest hair. Soon his hands were feeling her body as they leaned against the back wall, her lips nestled into his left ear and she whispered,

“I’m so ready for you, I’ve seen you in here all the time, looking at me,” her hand traced down to his zipper, “I know you feel something between us too, a connection and finally we get to explore it.

_Connection?!_

“I have a condom let me-”

Fin felt the sudden, rapid fire loss of desire and untangled himself from her.

“It ain’t like that—i mean-- you’re sexy and all but I’m not about to catch feelings for--”

“-some ho?!” she snarled back at him. Fin flashed back to his wife, that’s Valentine’s day, their last one and began to button up his shirt.

“Look, I just wanted to take a dip, not fall in love, got me?”

“But I thought you were different, you ain’t treating me like your boss does...” the soft hurt in her voice struck him as he went to open the door.

“I am different, I’m walking away from a good time that got messed up with romance. Look I ain’t your Romeo and I didn’t want to be him either. Keep the money. When I open this door, sell it okay?”

She nodded and Fin stepped out to a cascade of cheers from his boss and several boozed up patrons of the strip club.

“Thanks, but I gotta go, not feelin’ too hot. ‘night.” Fin stated as his boss eyed him.

“Okay, damn..heh heh she rode you hard huh? Go home and rest up my boy, we got an event tomorrow, southside.”

“Will do.”

 

 

Fin made the horrible mistake of letting Munch drive during their last case, but was unable to beat the slimmer man to the driver’s seat. Each lurch of the car made him want to vomit but the hurt lingering in Munch’s eyes stopped him.

_Damn, how the hell do I fix this?_ Fin racked his brain as the car pulled up to the brownstone in the lower west side. Instantly upon exiting the car both detectives were escorted inside the spacious home.

 

She sat on the sofa, dressed in an oversized robe and bath slippers, her red wet hair matted to her head as she recalled the incident to them.

“I...I was just finishing up my morning jog, I turned down my headphones and I walked up...up to my door. Before I could even think someone else was there, he had a gun to my temple.” she paused and let out a ragged breath, “...he...he pushed me down through the door and tried to pull my sweats off, I grabbed my lamp and hit him with it and ran upstairs, then I called 911 and they told me to stay up there so I didn’t get a good look at him… I only saw a flash of a red rubber band on his wrist before I swung...I’m so sorry...”

Munch nodded his head as Fin watched a youthful vigor come from him as he jotted down the beats of her story.

“Don’t apologize, following the operator’s instructions is what we want you to do in these situations...did his voice sound peculiar? Any sort of accent?” Munch asked her.

“No—no...I can’t recall...you’re never gonna catch this guy, now I have to move again...” her face began to scrunch up, a look Fin could see with a pristine accuracy in his dreams, but he leaned forward and felt his discomfort bubble to the top. Before he could speak he saw Munch take out a pack of tissues and hand them to her.

“Here.”

“Th-thanks….I showered even though he didn’t-” she swallowed the bile Fin was sure had crept up in her throat, “-rape me.”

“That’s okay...can we let one of our techs wipe the temple he held the gun to, to see if he left any residue behind, it could help us identify the gun? While they do that we’ll contact our boss and see if any other cases match up to this MO of this one.”

“Okay...thanks...” she got out as Fin and Munch left the scene of the crime.

 

 

 

“You know, with how much we pay in city taxes,” Munch began, “you think they could update our filing system something digital, sure as hell would make this easier!” he tossed another file from the push in rapist stack and let out a groan. Reviewing files for the last couple of hours in a spare interrogation room had caught up with both of them. While Fin was happy they had taken a room to get away from prying eyes, he still felt an icy aura from Munch.

“Yeah, but don’t you think digitizing all that stuff is some invasion of privacy thing?” Fin shot out, hoping that recalling one of Munch’s rants would be a point closer to being in his good graces.

_Wait, why in the hell do I want to be in his good graces?_

Munch raised an eyebrow, “So you do listen when I speak at you, refreshing to know, Fin.”

“When it helps” Fin replied, his heart dancing about his chest and cold sweats bothering him again.

_Why in the hell is this happening, I don’t love him...not, not that way_

“Let me take a stack of files.” Fin snatched a handful from the mountain and sat across Munch, both men resuming their hunt in silence. Every once in a while they’d look up at the same time and exchange looks then awkwardly return to their files. Fin finally had enough and broke the silence.

“Munch, about the other day-”

The older man held his hand up.

“Fin, I get it, it was just sex.”

_Oh now he gets it…._

Fin closed his file, “No Munch, it was and it wasn’t okay.”

“Whatever do you mean? One does not snap roses in half and have some sort of proclivity for romance.”

Fin groaned, “Look Munch, I dunno how to explain it, I don’t have all those PC terms memorized like Benson does but” he looked at the window in the door to make sure the coast was clear, “but last night was nice and needed.”

His hand wiped his face and Munch smiled.

“Okay, for the sake of clarity Fin, is this one of those macho tough guy things where you want to have feelings and romance but image wise you can’t?”

“Naw, it ain’t like that I just...” Fin stopped and saw actual concern on Munch’s face.

_Holy shit, he actually wants to listen?_

“You just, what?” Munch repeated back to him.

“...I just don’t get or like romance!” the declaration was uplifting and Fin poured his soul out to him.

“I don’t get romance, I don’t get stupid ass romantic holidays, I’m not a fan of roses-”

“-got that one loud and clear.”

“-I don’t understand falling in love, at all Munch, but...I like you. I liked last night and even cuddling your boney ass made sense...alright!”

Munch’s eyes shimmered and Fin felt the dread creep up again.

_Here comes the ‘I can fix you’ bit!_

“So...you aren’t embarrassed to be, whatever we are together?”

“No! I just don’t know if you can handle me not being normal, okay?”

Munch got up and sat on the table next to him.

“The guy who has been married four times to all sorts of women and who had his first gay encounter in over a decade is not the gatekeeper for normalcy, Fin.”

Fin felt Munch hold his hand and the attraction to please him resurged.

“True but...what the hell am I?”

“I don’t know Fin, but, I like him.” Munch answered as he let go of his hand.

“Munch...John...dinner and a movie? My place?”

“Sure...” Munch replied as he studied a file. Fin saw the eureka flash in his eyes.

“Munch?”

“Fin you know today’s vic couldn’t give us a description, except for that red rubber band she saw?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, call in the injuries to several hospitals in the area and one sent over this fax about an hour ago, guy took a lamp to the face, one of the nurses said he was wearing a red rubber band, Liv must have put it in with our files by mistake.”

“Looks like we got to get to St. Luke’s.

“Yep, and hope he’s still there.”

Both men grabbed their jackets and headed out.

 

 

 

After catching the push in rapist, the squad had wanted to grab drinks, but Fin stayed behind to work on some other cases. Usually he would have embraced the free beers from Cragen but he needed to grapple with a different, possible victory. He pulled up a web browser and went to the newest so called ‘search engine’. Elliot said his kids used them all the time for class and they did pretty well in school, so Fin felt that answers would have to be found with them, since he didn’t find Stabler’s kids to be too bright.

AskJeeves.com popped up on his screen and Fin looked at the white caricature butler mascot.

“Least it ain’t a black guy” he muttered as he typed in his question.

-Why do I hate romance?-

 

Within seconds hundreds of links flooded his screen and the sudden information waterfall before him felt daunting.

“Where in the hell do I even begin?!” he sputtered under his breath as he skimmed over the links. He stopped when he saw a livejournal- a kind of online journal it looked like- and read the title of the link.

-Romance sucks, sex is great, and I just want my person- the romance repulsed saga of Joe-

 

Fin clicked on it and began to read it. Each reference to gaming industry event made him smile, and he felt understood for the first time in ages. The so called Joe still needed and wanted different kinds of relationships, he just didn’t get how romantic ones worked. Fin felt like he was reading a similar narrative to his own frustrations, Joe even commented about how others made him feel like a pig because he saw women in a sexually attractive way, just not romantically. Joe respected and even revered those women, but hearts, flowers, and candlelit dinners were not his thing. Eventually, after spending several hours reading nearly the whole blog, Fin clicked on the last entry and read it.

 

_Romance repulsed dudes and ladies! I have to say that I ‘ve found my other person. Her name is Claudia and she thinks she’s romantic repulsed too, I’ve hit the jackpot you guys! We can just chill, have sex, and be in each other’s lives. I don’t have to worry about possibly offending her because she doesn’t like all the romantic stuff either. Yeah, dudes, she’s hot but even if she wasn’t being with Claudia just makes sense and that’s what makes all this bullshit, the looking, the rejection, the self loathing, all of it is worth it because I found her. Hang in there dudes and ladies, you’ll find the one who makes you wanna share a pizza with them. Joe out!_

 

As he finished the passage Fin jumped in his seat as a hand rested on his shoulder.

“Shit what the-?!” he looked up and saw Munch standing next to him. He scrambled to close the webpage but Munch stopped him, resting his hand on top of his.

“We still on for dinner and a movie?”

“Yeah, but what about pizza?”

Munch smiled, “I can do pizza, but not Papa johns.”

“Why?”

“...it’s a whole thing, I don’t want to bore you with the details.”

Fin took in the moment and felt the similar happiness that ‘joe’ has blogged about. He was attracted to John but it didn’t need to be romantic, they could just be with one another.

“Okay, let me grab my,” Fin stopped at Munch handed him his coat, “thanks.”

“No problem, Joe.” Munch winked.

 

 

Fin cleared a pathway to his couch and both men sat down as Fin ordered from one of his pizza places. Munch’s eyes took in his apartment and Fin felt nervous.

“I know man, it’s a mess but when the hell do I--”

“-I like it. It’s you and besides my place looks worse but with a jazzy blue overtone to it, heh.”

Fin saw the nerves in Munch’s eyes and placated him.

“Munch…we’re good right?”

“I was under the impression of such.”

“Yeah, so...I got on that web search engine thing, askjeeves.com.”

“Ah, the butler one, that’s how I tell it apart from the yahoo, the google, the lycros, etc.”

“Yeah, and I think I figured out like a little bit anyways, why I’m not normal.”

“And that would be?”

“I’m something called, romantic repulsed.”

Munch studied Fin for a moment, Fin wasn’t sure how to interpret the silent look over but the moment passed and Munch grinned.

“Finally, I get it, romance is to you what stupidity is to me, a revulsion of sorts.”

“Y-yeah, but Munch, I like you, just not in that way, you know?”

Munch moved closer to him, “I know and maybe the obvious red rose after a passionate tumble in bed was a bit much, a wee too on the nose, but, “he sighed, “I’m a romantic at heart, but if I have to forgo showing my appreciation for you in that way to get to know you better, then, so be it.”

Fin’s heart raced in his chest, but he didn’t feel the distraught sensations that so man other statements of love from others brought him. Instead, a feeling of being valued, respected came over him. It felt like he was being hit with a sack of bricks and it was perfect.

“Get over here.” Fin playfully ordered him as he grabbed Munch’s collar and sank a kiss on his lips.

“But...romantic?” Munch questioned between hot pressed kisses from Fin.

Fin pulled back and eyed him.

“John, I like kissing you, it isn’t about romance for me, it’s that boney ass of yours.”

The faint trace of blush on Munch’s face made Fin smile as both men returned to their sexual delights, exploring each other well into the morning.


End file.
